The Contracts I Didn’t Sign

There’s something I’ve got to say. And I want it documented—not to call anyone out, but to call the system out. The system of ego. The system of this false support riddled amongst every community. The performative, transactional energy that poisons so many corners of our world. Because lately, I’ve been witnessing the hypocrisy up close. In the digital space where people with millions of followers or status DM me to tell me my content is chef’s kiss (emojis and all).

But no follow.

Just vibes.

And I’m not mad—I’m fascinated.

Because if my content moves you, if it resonates that deeply, then why can’t you publicly acknowledge that? Why can’t you extend that gesture of solidarity with a single click? What contract are you upholding that I never signed?

This is where I realize: I don’t know the rules of this world. I didn’t sign up for the ego olympics. I didn’t agree to these silent ranking systems. And I sure as hell didn’t sign the contract that says, “Your worth depends on how many people decide you’re worthy.”

I’m new here. Not new to speaking truth, but new to this world of followers, numbers, and unspoken social hierarchies that turn what I deem as human connection into status currency. Support is free, until you want something back. And if I choose not to give it back. From my personal reasons that don’t align with my values. If I choose to not override my value system and support causes and podcast that don't align with me whatsoever. I'm the problem?

The support is revoked.

So it makes me question. Is it really genuine support?

This world is transactional.

And honestly?

It gives me the ‘Ick’ everyone talks about in sessions.

Let me be clear: I am not out here asking for shoutouts. I’m not sliding into people’s DMs begging for clout. Those who follow me, follow me because something in you resonated. And I’m grateful—truly. I honor that connection.

But don’t get it twisted.

I told this to the most high from the start:

“If I can just help one person, that’s enough.”

I didn’t pray for a platform. I prayed for impact.

So no, this 30,000+ follower thing?

It’s not something I asked for. It’s something I’m holding with humility. And a lot of you are mistaking proximity for ownership. Thinking that just because you felt seen by my words, that you get to claim a piece of me.

You don’t.

The hierarchies we see playing out online? They're not new. They're just echoes of the family roles many of us were assigned long ago, but in the digital world. Some of y’all carry unspoken expectations into your online presence the same way someone might expect lifelong loyalty or silence from a sibling, just because they “got the family out” or “did what they were supposed to.” These are unconscious contracts that no one signed, but everyone suffers under. I see the same energetic patterns in digital spaces as I do in therapy rooms. People upholding invisible systems of status, loyalty, performance, and entitlement. It’s just under the umbrella of branding, followers, and filters instead of blood ties.

But the root?

Still ego.

Still projection.

Still survival roles passed down from chaos we never truly processed.

And let’s talk about validation as leverage. Because some of you are using my truth like a shield. You resonate with something I say, and suddenly I become the token therapist, the safe brown girl with credentials you can quote when it serves your narrative, but don’t pedestal me. Don’t tokenize me because I speak your pain. Don’t use me as your Candace Owens because I said something critical about emotional neglect and now you’re weaponizing my words without doing your own shadow work. That’s not what I’m here for. This isn’t brand strategy for me.

This is soul work.

This is heart work.

This is the medicine I channel because it saved my own life and I’m offering it freely, raw, and unpolished, because that’s what integrity looks like. I don’t use my credentials in my username for a reason. Because I’m not just “LPC.”

I’m Savannah.

Just a girl with a brain that won’t shut off, a nervous system that’s felt the fire, and a mouth that’s learning how to speak without shaking. Yes, I’m a clinician. But the wisdom you are touched by? That resonance you feel? That’s not from grad school. It’s from the nights I stayed up reading, crying, healing. From the pain I alchemized into perspective. From my lived experience, my relentless hunger to understand, and my refusal to bullshit you or even shrink myself for your comfort just to get a follow. So no…I don’t want to exist in this world of unconscious contracts, where people hoard their validation like gold and only offer support when they think it will benefit them.

I don’t know the rules of this world.

Not really. And quite frankly?

I think I want to stay ignorant.

Because the moment I let myself fully understand this digital hierarchy where follower count equals worth, where visibility becomes currency, and where being seen is confused with being valuable. I lose something sacred.

I lose my grounding.

I lose the me that said yes to this work from a place of soul, not a marketing strategy.

I lose the purity of why I started sharing in the first place.

The moment I start playing the game, I’ve succumbed to the ego.

And I don’t want that.

I don’t owe anyone that.

I know some of you read my work and say, “Damn, I’ve never heard it put like that.” I honor you for that. I also know there are others, who try to minimize my voice the second it touches a nerve.

“She’s too young.”
“She’s probably using AI.”
“Wait until she hits menopause and then we’ll talk.”

I’ve heard it all. And what it reveals is not my inadequacy, it reveals how deeply our egos resist disruption.

I don’t provide research and references just because I love knowledge (though I do, I REALLY do). I provide them because I know the system won’t take me seriously unless I come with ‘receipts.’ Because otherwise, I’ll be dismissed. Labeled arrogant. Misunderstood. Or worse, erased.

But the truth? All of this came from my gut first. From spirit. From pain. From pattern recognition. From witnessing too much. From digesting this life through a nervous system that doesn’t know how to stop seeking. This work isn’t a brand to me. It’s my way of surviving. Of honoring the little girl who got left behind by so many.

What I’m offering isn’t content. It’s a mirror. And mirrors are never comfortable when we’ve spent our lives avoiding our own reflection.

That’s exactly why I speak on the idea of unconscious contracts. Because so many of you are engaging with me under terms I never agreed to. Terms that are rooted in performance, projection, and pedestalization. Whether online or within my personal life blueprint. I never reviewed those terms. I never signed that agreement. But somehow, I’m being held accountable to them. If you resonate with my work, beautiful. I’m so deeply honored.

But don’t assume your follow is the gift I’ve been waiting for. Because I’m not waiting for anything. I’m already doing the work.

With or without you.

This work is not just thought leadership. It’s liberation for the nervous system. It’s ego death. It’s healing through language. I’m not here to sell you a path. I’m here to invite you into your own seeing.

This is self-work.
This is the pause before the projection.
This is the moment we name the shadow so it no longer puppeteers our life.

As Carl Jung said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

That’s the invitation here. Not a promise. Not a prescription.

An invitation to see. To hold. To unhook.

Because that’s where freedom begins…Not in controlling the world, but in no longer being ruled by what we’ve refused to feel.

By Savannah Kizzie-Rai: not “LPC,” just a girl who sees through the noise.