We often think the problems in our relationships are unique to us. But what if the same patterns we fight about at home are also shaping the way our society reacts to crises, politics, and even what we see online?

This past week reminded me of something I hear from many men in couples work: “No matter what I do, it feels like it’s never enough.” The bar keeps moving. You do the thing your partner asked for and then it’s criticized because of how you did it. Over time, that double bind — “damned if I do, damned if I don’t” leaves both people resentful, exhausted, and unheard.

And here’s the connection: that same cycle is happening at a collective level.